GLORIOUS!

"Truth is stranger than fiction because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't." - Mark Twain



Glorious! Is the perfect example of this quote; who would think this is a true story if nobody tells it at the beginning? And that's what makes it interesting. At start, the play seems like a normal one, little story of an old woman singing, but as the story goes on, you start thinking: "What the hell is that?!?!" Literally, there is no word to describe the first time she starts singing… Oh my god! I thought my ears would explode. And the end is pretty weird too…! Nobody could have thought of a story like that; if somebody did, he would probably be hooted or interned. But because it's a true story, it makes it interesting how she acts and reacts to stuff that normal people would tend to hurt themselves to; makes you realize that there are lot of weird people out there. It's also a proof that sometimes, confidence and ignorance can make you go a long way into fulfilling your dreams.

Tribute to Canada's Army

LONDON - Until the deaths last week of four Canadian soldiers accidentally killed by a U.S. warplane in Afghanistan, probably almost no one outside their home country had been aware that Canadian troops were deployed in the region. And as always, Canada will now bury its dead, just as the rest of the world as always will forget its sacrifice, just as it always forgets nearly everything Canada ever does.
It seems that Canada's historic mission is to come to the selfless aid both of its friends and of complete strangers, and then, once the crisis is over, to be well and truly ignored. Canada is the perpetual wallflower that stands on the edge of the hall, waiting for someone to come and ask her for a dance. A fire breaks out, she risks life and limb to rescue her fellow dance-goers, and suffers serious injuries. But when the hall is repaired and the dancing resumes, there is Canada, the wallflower still, while those she once helped glamorously cavort across the floor, blithely neglecting her yet again.
That is the price Canada pays for sharing the North American continent with the United States, and for being a selfless friend of Britain in two global conflicts. For much of the 20th century, Canada was torn in two different directions: It seemed to be a part of the old world, yet had an address in the new one, and that divided identity ensured that it never fully got the gratitude it deserved.
Yet its purely voluntary contribution to the cause of freedom in two world wars was perhaps the greatest of any democracy. Almost 10% of Canada's entire population of seven million people served in the armed forces during the First World War, and nearly 60,000 died. The great Allied victories of 1918 were spearheaded by Canadian troops, perhaps the most capable soldiers in the entire British order of battle.
Canada was repaid for its enormous sacrifice by downright neglect, its unique contribution to victory being absorbed into the popular Memory as somehow or other the work of the "British." The Second World War provided a re-run. The Canadian navy began the war with a half dozen vessels, and ended up policing nearly half of the Atlantic against U-boat attack. More than 120 Canadian warships participated in the Normandy landings, during which 15,000 Canadian soldiers went ashore on D-Day alone. Canada finished the war with the third-largest navy and the fourth-largest air force in the world.
The world thanked Canada with the same sublime indifference as it had the previous time. Canadian participation in the war was acknowledged in film only if it was necessary to give an American actor a part in a campaign in which the United States had clearly not participated - a touching scrupulousness which, of ourse, Hollywood has since abandoned, as it has any notion of a separate Canadian identity.

So it is a general rule that actors and filmmakers arriving in Hollywood keep their nationality - unless, that is, they are Canadian. Thus Mary Pickford, Walter Huston, Donald Sutherland, Michael J. Fox, William Shatner, Norman Jewison, David Cronenberg, Alex Trebek, Art Linkletter and Dan Aykroyd have in the popular perception become American, and Christopher Plummer, British. It is as if, in the very act of becoming famous, a Canadian ceases to be Canadian, unless she is Margaret Atwood, who is as unshakably Canadian as a moose, or Celine Dion, for whom Canada has proved quite unable to find any takers.
Moreover, Canada is every bit as querulously alert to the achievements of its sons and daughters as the rest of the world is completely unaware of them. The Canadians proudly say of themselves - and are unheard by anyone else - that 1% of the world's population has provided 10% of the world's peacekeeping forces. Canadian soldiers in the past half century have been the greatest peacekeepers on Earth - in 39 missions on UN mandates, and six on non-UN peacekeeping duties, from Vietnam to East Timor, from Sinai to Bosnia.
Yet the only foreign engagement that has entered the popular on-Canadian imagination was the sorry affair in Somalia, in which out-of-control paratroopers murdered two Somali infiltrators. Their regiment was then disbanded in disgrace - a uniquely Canadian act of self-abasement for which, naturally, the Canadians received no international credit.
So who today in the United States knows about the stoic and selfless friendship its northern neighbour has given it in Afghanistan? Rather like Cyrano de Bergerac, Canada repeatedly does honourable things for honourable motives, but instead of being thanked for it, it remains something of a figure of fun.

It is the Canadian way, for which Canadians should be proud, yet such honour comes at a high cost. This week, four more grieving Canadian families knew that cost all too tragically well.

MYERS, Kevin, "The Sunday Telegraph".

Funny stuff

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Technician: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Technician: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Technician: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Technician: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Technician: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Technician: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Technician: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Technician: That's what friction locks are for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Technician: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Technician: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Technician: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Technician: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums.
Technician: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Technician: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Technician: Took hammer away from midget

____________________________________________________________________________________

A Canadian Soldier was attending some university courses between deployments.
He had completed tours in Bosnia, and just returned from Afghanistan.


One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated,

"God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform.
I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."


The Lecture room fell silent.
You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God.
I'm still waiting."


It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and punched him; knocking him off the platform.
The professor was out cold.
The Soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Soldier and asked,
What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Soldier calmly replied,

"God was too busy today protecting Canada's Soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole, so He sent me."

Poem

Around the corner I have a friend,

In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it
might be too late.

Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.